What the hell does cranberry and frost smell like? Or vanilla and moonlight? I’m not interested in how an air freshener borrows from Pocahontas to transport me into a whole new state of being. How does a fragrance, or anything else for that matter deliver on the expectation of altering our physical interpretation of reality? Particularly when I need it to remove dog odour, not promise me a voyage through 'blossom and breeze'.

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